I think I turn 35 soon.
I’m being dramatic. Of course I know how old I will be and I know when, although I make the point because it did catch me out a couple of weeks ago. For a moment I had to work it out was I 34 or 35?
Anyway a birthday is as good a time as any to talk about age. I’m generally a ‘young-at-heart’ kind of a person and don’t often feel the weight of the years pressing down on me. I do however count and gauge my self-percieved lack of success against my own years and those of others. I remember when Zadie Smith published White Teeth and thinking, damn she’s my age. Am I alone in this or do any of you partake in these little foibles? I will quite often see an author who is older than me and then find out when they published their first book, then I do the maths… ‘OK so I still have two years to get something published going by that author’s track record… YES!’
Stupid isn’t it. I mention it, because It’s one of a myriad of distraction methods we use to keep from actually sitting at the desk and hitting the keys. I can remember as early back as being 15 years old and doing calculations in my head… right so I didn’t get that finished when I said but by next summer I’m definitely going have achieved this…
Age only matters (personally speaking) when you’re not filling the years with the things you want to be doing; when we excuse ourselves another years dross, because ‘next year’ we’ll have it all sorted out.
Two years ago I changed the way I worked and the way I thought dramatically. I stopped counting calendars, I stopped making excuses or finding places to lay the blame. I just wrote and if obstacles came along they were no one else’s problem but my own and I needed to find a way around them.
Guess what? Not hard to guess is it… I started completing work.